Blog of a girl who struggles with her fat ass and the process of it's elimination.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Total Gym Brain Fart

This weekend I was at the gym to attend my usual Zumba class.  However, the usual Zumba instructor wasn't there and the sub was a spastic gerbil.  So, I decided to swim instead.  I changed out of my barely sweaty gym clothes into my bathing suit, attached my key to my strap per my usual procedure, then went into the gloriously warm and wonderful pool.  I swam in my pathetic attempt to keep myself afloat (I'm a very new swimmer, within the last year or so, and still deathly afraid of water) until I was tired.  On my way back to the locker room I was focused on covering my new bright red hair, which I forgot that I had colored that morning, and was trying desperately to cover my pinky orange drippyness with their pristine and tiny white towels.  Suddenly I discovered that my key was missing.  Good thing I bring my googles (which I never use because I'm scared of my face in the water!)  I get myself back into the pool and proceed to look for my key on the pool floor.  There are two other half-swimmers watching me.  I go back and forth.  Back and forth.  Nada.  I retrace my steps in the locker room.  Check my locker just in case I actually forgot to lock it.  Still nothing.  I finally resign to needing to ask an employee for assistance, still in my wet bathing suit and towel, one turban wrapped around my pink leaking hair, and spikey non-shaved legs exposed to raw air.  No employee to be seen.  Usually they are often lurking in the locker rooms.  Today, no such luck.  None to be found.  I ponder asking a stranger to get someone for me.  Then I decide to waste time in the steam room.  Too anxious to relax, so I wander around the locker room some more, trying to look casual.  I decide to rinse the chlorine from my hair and bathing suit to waste more time.  Shower.  Dry off in the sauna.  Look for employee.  STILL, none to be found.  Clueless as to what to do with myself now, I walk back to my locker and look forlornly at it, willing it to just open please to spare me the embarrassment of asking someone to open it for me while standing wet and half naked.  Suddenly I see myself in the mirror from the side.  I notice something weird on my back.

What. The. Dude.

Found my key.  It had traveled my strap and settled it's merry self on the opposite side I had left it.

Wow.  Now entirely glad I didn't find an employee to ask, suffer the embarrassment of asking, only to find my key stuck to me.  Awesome.  Genius.  Welcome to my life.

On a happy note, I lost 2.2 lbs!  Well look at that!  Dietitian knows her stuff. :)


  1. Bwahahaha...this one made my day! Totally sounds like something I would do! Lol. :0) -Q-

    1. Lol I'm glad you like it. Total *facepalm* moment.