Blog of a girl who struggles with her fat ass and the process of it's elimination.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Surgery Anxieties

I have two required doctor appointments left to fulfill my insurance requirements.  These last two appointments I'm supposed to meet with the surgeon, but I'm not sure that is going to happen.  They didn't say anything about it at my last visit and I forgot to ask because I thought I was behind by one appointment.  When I visited last I expressed my concern about not being able to lose my pre-surgery 5lbs.  I've maintained most of my goals from my visits.  I've been given between 3-5 goals each visit.  When I talked with my dietician about my concerns she said that if weight loss was easy, this program wouldn't exist.  They're here to go to bat for me and say that I've done everything they've asked me to do.  She told me not to worry about the 5lbs.  Well, I'm still worried. 

I'm also feeling anxious today about my work.  I know I shouldn't.  Having no surgery date in advance is difficult to ask my work to go through, because they can't schedule availability around when I'll be out.  This makes me feel guilty.  Again, I know I shouldn't, but I do.

I'm very excited for the time when I'll be able to drop weight and feel better about myself.  I'm getting anxious about surgery.  I've never had surgery before.  I'll have to be in the hospital for three days.  Three days.  My mom plans on being here for me, so that will be nice.  I've told enough friends now that I expect I will have at least a couple of visitors.  Maybe I just need some emotional support right now.  I'm excited to go home to be with my husband who has been wonderful at reassuring me.

I do wish I had a date though.  But maybe that would just give me one more thing to fixate on.

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