So. Let's talk.

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Hi lovelies!  First order of business, I just found out that I have FOUR followers on Bloglovin!  HI GUYS!!!!!  You have no idea how happy this makes me.  YAY!

Second order of business.  So.  I made a REALLY big decision.  Some of you may be happy, some of you may disagree, but this is what I believe to be the right decision for me.

I'm having gastric bypass surgery.

I'll pretend everyone is happy with that and I won't defend my decision.  I will, however, start to talk about why I chose to do this and the process I go through.

Firstly, I decided to blog about this because:

A) I've googled up and down blogs of people going through this, and I firmly believe in blogging about the stuff I would be googling myself and am often coming up short on.  You need to find it somewhere!

B) My blog is about weight loss.  Durr.

C) I want to document my own thought process and how I feel through each step.

I've done oodles of research on the process, what to expect, how I need to change, etc.  I've never had surgery much less major surgery, or even stayed in the hospital, so this is actually quite a scary thing for me to do.  The process sounds highly unpleasant.  This will not be easy, by any means.  But, again, I believe this is the best decision for ME so I am going through with it.

My first step was checking with my insurance to see if it will be covered.  I wouldn't be able to have the surgery if it weren't covered.  The criteria required by my insurance is a BMI over a certain number (or a BMI of a lower number plus at least one obesity related medical issue, which I also have...) and to be monitored by a physician while following a diet plan for six months.  My doctor had advised me to see their weight clinic for a monitored plan anyway, so I was going to do this whether I decided to have surgery or not.  At the end of the six month time period, all my goodies will be sent to insurance for approval so I won't know FOR SURE until then, but I don't see why I would be rejected.

Second, Hubs and I attended an informational session at the clinic.  This was lead by one of the surgeons who went through each surgical option they offer, that their pros and cons are, success rates, etc.  This was actually pretty cool and I'm very glad we went.  (It's required anyway, but I did like it.)  I'm also glad Hubs went with me so he knows what I'm getting into as well.  At the end of the session I was able to set up my first appointment at the clinic.

Expectations.  I expect this to be hard.  I expect it to be unpleasant for a while.  I expect it to be a huge change.  I expect to not be able to eat much at all.  I expect this to be a permanent tool to help me get where I need to be.  I expect, finally, to have success.

Struggles.  My biggest struggle is actually who to tell.  I've told my mom and my closest friends, but beyond that I'm very nervous.  Except, of course, to blog about it.  But very few people that know me personally are aware of this blog.  Those that are aware I'm comfortable telling.  This blog in it's entirety is uncomfortable.  I talk very specifically about my struggle with weight loss and even post some numbers.  This is always a sensitive topic.  I do feel the need to tell certain family members, but they are the ones I'm afraid of most.  I need support.  I'm afraid some people will see this as an easy way out.  Believe me when I say, in no way do I see this as being easy.  I see this as a last resort.  You, dear readers, are fully aware of my ups and downs.  Then more downs.  As the surgeon explained, I've tried every other way, now I want the way.

So, there you have it.  I'm having surgery.  Stay tuned.